Delve into the lighthearted world of humor with our collection of blonde jokes that promise laughter in abundance.Blonde jokes have been a staple in comedic circles,showcasing wit and playfulness.In this article,we unravel a tapestry of amusing anecdotes and clever quips that celebrate the charm of blonde humor.From classic jests to modern twists,join us on a journey of joy and entertainment,exploring the timeless allure of blonde jokes that transcends generations.Brace yourself for a delightful ride through the whimsical realm of laughter!
Blonde jokes:
1.Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
You have to hollow out the head.
3. What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A Space Invader.
4. Why do blondes drive BMWs?
Because they can spell it.
5. Why didn't 19 blondes go into a bar?
The sign said 21+.
6. I asked my blonde friend why she kept empty beer bottles in the refrigerator…She said,"They're for my friends who don't drink."
7. How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
8. A blonde crashed a helicopter…When the police officer asked why, she said,"It got chilly in here,so I turned off the fan."
9. What did the blonde say when she saw a box of Cheerios?
"Wow!Doughnut seeds!"
10.What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Spot.
Smart blonde jokes:
11. Two blondes fell down a hole.One said,"It's dark in here isn't it?
"The other replied,"I don't know;I can't see."
12. Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?
She couldn't find the 10 key.
13. What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A golden retriever.
14. Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench…One blonde says to the other,"Which do you think is farther away,Florida or the moon?
"The other blonde says,"Well,you can't see Florida…"
15. What do you call it when Suzanne Sommers tries to teach Madonna to cook?
The blonde leading the blonde.
16.How do you keep a blonde busy?
Write "please flip over" on a piece of paper and give it to her.
17. What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
18. Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for two hours?
Because it said,"Concentrate."
19.How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
100—One to hold the lightbulb and 99 to move the house anti-clockwise.
20.What goes vroom,screech,vroom,screech?
A blonde at a flashing red light.
21. Brunette:"Have you met my identical twin sister yet?
"
Blonde:"No,what does she look like?"
22. Did you hear about the blonde couple that was found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater?
They apparently went to see Closed For The Winter.
23. Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills
24. Blonde:"What does IDK stand for?
"
Brunette:"I don't know."Blonde:"OMG,nobody does!"
25. Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out all the 'W's.
26. What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been sighted.
27. Why are blonde jokes so short?
So they can remember them.
28. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
You tell her a joke on Wednesday.
29. A blonde asked her coworker,"Do you have any kids?
"
"Yes,"she replied."I have one child that's just under two."The blonde said,"I might be blonde,but I know how many one is."
30.How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in her ears.
31. How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
You give them a shampoo that says,"Rinse,wash,and repeat."
32. The blonde's computer password had to be eight characters long and include at least one capital…So she made it "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyAlbany."
33. Two blondes were driving to Disneyland.The sign said,"Disneyland Left."So they started crying and went home.
34. Why do blondes wear so much hair spray?
So they can catch all the things that go over their head.
36. A blonde was driving along the highway and approached a service station with a sign that read,"Clean Restrooms."
So she did.
37.Two blondes were driving and one thought her blinker might be broken…She asked her friend to check.The friend stuck her head out and said,"Yes,No,Yes,No,Yes…"
38.Did you hear about the blonde who bought an AM radio?
It took her months to figure out she could use it at night.
39. How does a blonde brain cell die?
Alone.
40. Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
41. How do you keep a blonde at home?
You build a circular driveway.
42.A blonde walks into a hospital and claims that everywhere she touches hurts…The doctor says,"Ma'am,you have a broken finger."
43. Why did the blonde think she was a genius after completing her jigsaw puzzle?
The box said "for two to five years" and it only took her one.
44. Three blondes walk into a building…You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.
45. A blonde calls an airline and asks,"How long are your flights from America to the UK?
"
The woman on the other end of the phone says,"Just a minute…" The blonde says,"Thanks!"and hangs up the phone.
46. How can you make a blonde go to the roof?
Tell her that drinks are on the house.
47. Why couldn't the blonde write the number 11?
She couldn't figure out which number came first.
48. Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills.
49.How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says “lather,rinse,repeat.”
50.How do you keep a blonde busy?
Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.
Blonde comedy jokes:
51.Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months?
Because the box said it was for “2 to 4 years.”
52. What did the blonde say after glimpsing a box of Cheerios?
“OMG!Donut seeds!”
53. What’s every blonde’s dream in life?
To be like Vanna White and actually learn the alphabet.
54. How do you know if a blonde’s been using your computer?
You’ll find Wite Out all over the screen.
55.Why do blondes love boob jobs?
It’s really the only job they’re qualified for.
56. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
“I wonder if it’s mine.”
57. Why do blondes stare at orange juice containers for hours on end?
Because they say “concentrate.”
58. Why did the blonde put her iPad in the blender?
She was trying to make apple juice.
59. What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
They both swallow a lot of sea men.
60. How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
Blonde jokes to get your eyes watering:
61.How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.
62. What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them,the looser they get.
63. What do you call a blond with an actual brain?
A golden retriever.
64. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
Someone told her drinks were on the house.
65. Why do blondes make awful bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
66. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
She was desperately trying to make up her mind.
67. Why do blondes wear panties?
They are trying to get their ankles warmed up.
68. Why’d the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out all the W’s.
69.What is something that beer bottles and blondes share?
They’re both empty from bottom to top.
70.Why couldn’t the blonde dial 911?
She couldn’t find the eleven.
great blonde jokes you can’t help but repeat:
71.What is the occupation of a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
72.What do you call a blond who dyed her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.
73.What is the name of a blonde who has a brain?
A golden retriever.
74.What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once.
75.What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini?
You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.
76.How does a blonde high-five?
She smacks herself in the forehead.
77.How do you confuse a blonde?
You don't. They're born that way!
78.What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
They both drip when they're fucked.
79.Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?
To keep here legs closed.
80.What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
Data transfer.
81.Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes go in first!
82.What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A Space Invader.
83.A blonde said,"I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off,I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."
84.What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde?
You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!
85.How do blonde braincells die?
Alone.
86.What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
Third Grade!
87.What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.
88.Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
89.Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs?
The rest are hunting peckers.
90.What do you give the blonde that has everything?
Penicillin.
Best one-liner blonde jokes:
91.What is a blonde's favorite fairy tale?
Humpme Dumpme!
92.What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear?
Thanks for the refill.
93.What is a blonde's favorite color?
Glitter.
94.What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A thought.
95.If pink and glitter were vitamins blondes would be the healthiest people alive.
96.Why does a blonde wear green lipstick?
Because red means Stop.
97.What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.
98.What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
Nice tits!
99.Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
Because it said "concentrate"!
100.How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday!
Your favourite blonde jokes:
101.Why can't blondes count to 70?
Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.
102.How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in their ear.
103.Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?
Because she threw out all the bent ones.
104.What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Hide-and-go-seek winner from last year.
105.What did the blonde say when she saw Cheerios?
Donut seeds.
106.How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant.
107.What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
108.I'm blonde.What's your excuse?
109.What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
110.Why do blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
Dirty blonde jokes:
111.What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
The blonde has the higher sperm count.
112.Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
Who cares?
113.Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
114.We all have one ginger friend that claims to be "strawberry blonde".
115.What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
116.Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car?
She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe.
117. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin out and throw it back!
118. What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell;she’s got a grenade in her teeth!
119. Blonde:“Do you have any children?
”
Colleague:“Yes,I have one that’s just under two.”
Blonde:“I might be blonde,but I know how to count.”
120.How do you get a blonde to burn her ear?
Call her up when she’s doing the ironing.
Classic blonde jokes:
121.How do you confuse a dumb blonde?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
122. Why do blondes always smile when there’s lightning out?
They think somebody is taking their picture.
123.What do you call a blonde with a degree?
A liar!
124. Did you hear about the blonde who joined the sea scouts?
Her tent sunk!
125.And what do you call a blonde woman who lost 95% of her intelligence?
A widow.
126. What’s blonde and dead in a closet?
The hide-and-seek champion from 1995.
127.What do you give a blonde who has everything?
Penicillin.
128. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
129. What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear?
Thanks for the refill.
130.How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door!
131. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Gifted.
132. A good blonde secretary is one that never misses a period!
133. I knew a blonde once who thought a quarterback was a refund.
134. My blonde girlfriend takes a ruler to bed to measure how long she sleeps each night.
135. What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been sighted
136. Why do blondes always tiptoe through the chemists?
So as not to wake the sleeping pills.
137. What’s long,hard,and makes blondes moan?
Grade four!
138. Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
To remind them that their Toes Go In First.
139.Did you hear the joke about the blonde midget?
Don’t worry,it’s not big,and it’s not clever.
140.Why do blondes drive BMWs?
Because they can spell it.
Blonde jokes for any occasion:
141. How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
142.What do you call a blonde whore standing on her head?
A brunette!
143. What did the blonde’s left ankle say to her right ankle?
Between us,we’ve got a great way to make money.
144. Why do blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
145. What does a blonde bimbo say to her partner after sex?
Hi honey,I’ll be home in 30 minutes.
146. What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you tap it on the head.
147. If a natural blonde spits and a bleached blonde swallows,what does a dirty blonde do?
Gargles.
148. Why was the blonde depressed when she looked at her driver’s license?
She got an “F” in sex.
149. Why do blondes love giving blow jobs?
Because it’s the only job they are qualified for?
150.Why are blondes often quiet during sex?
They were taught never to talk to strangers!
Most funniest blonde jokes:
151. What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
They are both famous for swallowing seamen!
152. What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them,the looser they get.
153. What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A bowling bowl only has room for three fingers!
154. Why did the blond keep her pussy shaved?
So her deaf boyfriend could read her lips.
155. How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t.They’re born that way.
156. How do you drown a blonde?
Place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
157. How did the blonde dog get hurt?
From chasing parked cars.
158. Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
From eating with forks.
159. I once asked a blonde girl why she was dry,and she said:"I have missed swimming for six years."
160.How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door
Bad blonde jokes:
161.A guy said,"Money can't buy happiness".The blonde replied,"Well,I just bought a drink at happy hour."
162.What did the blonde say when asked who was responsible for the pregnancy?
It could be mine!
163.Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
164.How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in their ear.
165.Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?
Because she threw out all the bent ones.
166.How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday!
167.How does a blonde high-five?
She smacks herself in the forehead.
168.What did the blonde say when she saw Cheerios?
Donut seeds.
169.What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
Data transfer.
170.How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant.
As we wrap up our laughter-filled exploration of blonde jokes,we invite you to carry the spirit of humor with you.These jokes,a testament to the enduring joy of shared laughter,continue to tickle our funny bones.Remember,in the world of comedy,no hair color defines the brilliance of a punchline.Let the playful banter linger,and may these blonde jokes serve as a reminder that laughter knows no bounds.Until our next chuckle,keep the smiles rolling!
By:JokeFiesta Team.
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