Embark on a lighthearted journey as we explore the humorous side of life with our collection of fat jokes.Laughter, they say,is the best medicine,and these jokes are here to tickle your funny bone.Embracing the joy in good-natured humor,our curated selection of fat jokes is sure to bring smiles and lighten the mood.Join us in a world where laughter knows no boundaries,as we celebrate the art of jesting with a collection that playfully explores the theme of size and smiles.
Fat jokes:
1.What is the name for an overeating bee?
Chub-bee.
2.He was so obese that his stomach always arrived 20 minutes before the rest of him.
3.The most popular way people tend put on bounds is by having a romantic dinner for you…all by yourself.
4.He was Britain’s fattest spy.His codename was 00000000000000000007.
5.Congratulations on deciding on your weight loss surgery.You have a lot of guts.
6.Her butt was so massive that the customs officer apprehended her as she tried concealing the large amount crack pass him.
7.The fire department advised me to give up jogging.My thighs were rubbing together causing my tights to ignite.
8.The best benefit of being fat is that you’re least likely to be kidnapped.
9.One day a man tells his wife that he has bought for her a fool-proof tape for weight loss. She says,Why?Our vcr player is broken”.
He replies,“The tape is for your mouth!”
10.She no longer enjoys amusement parks because kids keep asking to ride her.
Yo mama fat jokes:
11.Yo mama eats so much that her blood type is gravy.
12.Yo mama’s so obese that even her house has stretch marks.
13.Yo mama weighs so much that she gets out of breath every time she jumps to a conclusion.
14.Yo mama so fat,that when her right hip talks to her left hip,it’s considered a long-distance call.
15.Yo mama so fat,the tub overflows even when there’s no water.
16.Yo mama’s so fat that she can no longer sit around the house.The last time she tried sitting AROUND the house,the roof caved in.
17.Yo mama’s body is so big that Dora refuses to explore her.
18.Yo mama’s so fat that her hips are no longer in the same time zones.
19.Yo mama’s so fat that when she visits the zoo,all the animals hide their food.
20.Yo mama’s so fat that she comes with her own gravity field.
Yo mama still eating and still fat jokes:
21.Yo mama eats so much that she got mad when they told her she couldn’t order the size of the bucket that was on the roof.
22.Yo mama’s so fat that whenever she is on my mind,my neck nearly buckles under the strain.
23.Yo mama’s so fat that in bed,your dad has to ride the wave on her belly so that he can kiss her.
24.Yo mama is so fat that I recovered 2 GB of storage when I deleted the selfie she sent me.
25.Yo mama is so fat that she gets a group insurance discount all by herself.
26.Yo mama’s so fat that flesh eating bacteria die from exhaustion.
27.He took his boxer shorts to be laundered and the lady said,“sorry,we don’t clean tents.”
28.Yo mama has such a fat head that she uses a paint-roller to put on her mascara.
29.Yo mama’s so fat,when she went to bungee jumping,she broke the earth’s crust.Thankfully it was easy to locate her next of chins.
30.Yo mama eats so much that she got certified as a spoon and fork operator.
Dad fat jokes:
31.What’s the quickest way for a fat man to burn calorie?
Set himself on fire.
32.Fat people always have the body shape of a god.Unfortunately,that god is Buddha.
33.Why shouldn’t you ever interrupt a group of fat people talking?
They may be having a heavy discussion.
34.Don’t tease fat people,they already have too much on their plate.
35.She’s perfected the seafood diet.If she can it,she can eat it.
36.Many overweight people are able to get into shape.Elephant shape.
37.It’s called the One Month diet.In the end you are sure to lose 30 days.
38.She’s so fat that even the Biggest Loser TV show told her she can apply when she’s had her octuplets.She wasn’t pregnant.
39.Where do they take fat people who try to escape from exercising?
The Fitness Protection Program.
40.Why did the obese man give up on his diet?
He was thick and tired of it.
Fat jokes in friends:
41.It’s better to never tell jokes about fat people.They never work out.
42.What can you do to help a fat kid lose weight?
Tie a cupcake to a car’s bumper.
43.She stopped wearing her yellow and black tank top when people started yelling “Taxi!” at her.
44.What did the fat man say to the man at the gym who had normal abs?
You’re abnormal.
45.Why didn’t the fat lady think her weight was a problem?
Because heat makes everything expand so she must have been a pretty hot woman.
46.What did the workaholic’s past marriage share in common with fat people?
They both never worked out.
47.How is it that every diet I try seems to fail whenever it’s time to eat?
48.I highly recommend the communist diet.You can lose alot of weight with this 5 year plan.
49.I play Hide and Seek with losing weight,but it always finds me.
50.I used all my willpower and I was able to give up dieting.
Fat jokes to make someone cry:
51.I always believed the air was free until purchased bags of Doritos.
52.She wore a yellow raincoat and people yelled Taxi!
53.You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving.
54.Yo Mama is so fat,I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
55.Yo Mama so fat,she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
56.Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale it said,"To be continued."
57.She has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes.
58.Once she jumped in the water,everone ran out yelling,"Tsunami!"
59.Hey my friend,You are so much fat that when the family has their picture taken, you’re the background.
60.Your Mama's so fat,when she went bungee jumping,she broke the bridge!
Fat jokes pick up lines:
61.She got arrested at the airport for ten pounds of crack.
62.So fat when she sat on the toilet she said A B C D E F G get your fat ass off me.
63.A lifeguard approaches her and says,"Excuse me ma'am,could you please leave the beach?" The obese lady replies,"Why? What's wrong?" Well you see,says the lifeguard,"It's getting pretty late,and the tide wants to come in!"
64.When she goes to an amusement park,people try to ride her!
65.He's so fat when they applied for the biggest loser tv show.They said, "sorry,there's a weight limit."
66.The animals at the zoo feed her.
67.Not saying my Ex was fat.But it took a year for my memory foam mattress to forget her.
68.Fat shaming is wrong.
They have enough on their plate already.
69.Your mama is so fat…..On one edge of her passport photo,it says continued on next page.
70.Yo momma is so fat…her car has stretch marks.
Question with answer fat jokes:
71.Do you know why I don't make fat jokes?
Because they wouldn't be appreciated by the wider audience.
72.What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer
73.What do you call a fat psychic?
A four chin teller.
74.Why do you never see a fat ninja?
Because fat ninjas are the best ninjas.
75.Why are rich british people fat?
because they measure their wealth in pounds
76.How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat?
She fits in your wife’s clothes
77.My 9 year old daughter made up this joke."Why did the bull get fat?"
Because he ate too many cowleries.
78.How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Add a nipple to it.
79.Why do vampires never get fat?
They eat necks to nothing
80.What do you call two fat people raising a child?
Unfit parents.
You so fat jokes:
81.A lot of people are pretty upset about "fat shaming" jokes these days
Maybe they need to lighten up
82.Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won't notice.Call a girl fat once and she'll never forget...
Because elephants never forget.
83.My buddies always ask me how I can get fat girls to bed so quick.
I tell them t’s easy,just a piece of cake
84.I wish I could see what it was like to be fat for just one day.
I'm tired of being fat every day.
85.I’m not fat.I’m doing this on purpose,I plan to lose all this weight and then with the saggy skin I’ll be able to have my own wing suit,just like a flying squirrel.
86.There once was a criminal that was so so fat...That not even the police could surround him.
87.My friend gets offended when people tell fat jokes.
I told her to lighten up.
88.Yo mama so fat.When she fell I didn't laugh,but the sidewalk cracked up.
89.What do you call a group of fat babies ?
Heavy Infantry
90.How do you get a fat girl into bed?
Piece of cake.
Jokes about fat bellies:
91.If a mass of beef fat is 'tallow',and mass of pig fat is 'lard',what is a mass of human fat called?
'American'.
92.My doctor advised me to stay away from trans fats.I guess I should really get off Tumblr.
93.What would they call the Witcher if he got fat?
Geralt the Wide Wolf.
94.Hey Doctor,any idea why I seem to be so attracted to fat girls?
That'd be gravity,my boy.
95.I said to a fat girl today...I said to a fat girl today,
"You're a big girl!"
She replied,"Tell me something I don't know."
I said, "Salad tastes nice"
96.I'm either pregnant,or I'm getting fat.
Either way,a good set of stairs should solve my problem.
97.Your mom is so fat her school picture from first grade is still printing.
98.My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein,fiber,and good fats
"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.
99.I tried to start a business offering balloon rides for fat people.But it never got off the ground.
100.Yo Mama’s so fat.There’s flat mama theories about her.
101.I’m not saying your mother is fat
but whenever she falls over,she rocks herself to sleep trying to get back up.
102.Guys come on,we shouldn't give fat people such a hard time.They have enough on their plate already.
103.Wife:“I look fat.Can you give me a compliment?”
Husband:“You have perfect eyesight.”
104.I don't like ladies with fat legs.I don't like ladies with thin legs.
I like something inbetween.
105.Yo momma so fat...
...when she goes jogging,she leaves potholes.
106.Why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate?
She was on a crash diet!
107.If someone calls you fat,just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
108.A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
109.Diet Day #1-I removed all the fattening food from my house.It was delicious.
110.Every time someone calls me fat I get so depress I cut myself...a piece of cake.
Jokes on fat body:
111.My New Year's resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
112.I found there was only one way to look thin:hang out with fat people.
113.Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
114.I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 13 to go.
115.You're fat.It's not because it runs in the family,you're fat because nobody runs in your family.
116.Diet Coke:Making people feel better about ordering two Big Macs and a large fry since 1982.
117.Behind every fat woman there is a beautiful woman.No seriously,your in the way.
118.My weight loss goal is simple.I just want to lie on the beach without marine biologists pouring buckets of water over me.
119.Doctor: "Well,it looks like you're pregnant."
Woman: "Oh my God,I'm pregnant?!"
Doctor: "No,it just looks like you are."
120.She's so fat,she fell down and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up!
Norm fat jokes:
121.Sometimes I go into the fitting room with jeans three sizes too big so I can feel what it's like to succeed at a diet.
122.Brain cells come and go but fat cells live forever.
123.Thanksgiving,man.Not a good day to be my pants.
124.I love my six packs so much that I have protected it with layers of fat.
125.You're so fat that the only way you can fit your whole body into a photo is to use panorama.
126.I don't buy fat-free milk because I don't want to contribute to cows having body issues.
127.My wife asked me"What are the chances I will get accepted into a convent if I lose weight?"I said "slim to nun".
128.You know you're fat when you step on the scale and it says"one at a time please".
129.You so fat that when you stepped onto a scale it said.Bitch I never asked for your phone number.
130.Yo momma so fat she has more rolls than a bakery.
Fat jokes for sister:
131.My ex-girlfriend told me nothing shocks her anymore so I switched her digital scale from Lbs to Kg.
132.How do you get a couple of fat birds into bed?
Piece of cake.
133.Fat people are lucky-they get to eat whatever they want and not worry about getting fat.
134.You have enough fat to make another human.
135.So, my neighbor with the big titties is outside gardening topless today...I just wish his wife would do the same!
136.What's red and white,red and white,red and white?
Sant rolling off your roof.
137.You have more chins than Chinatown.
138.Do you know how to lose weight... fast.
139.My sister is so fat then when we go out to the local buffet they see her coming and pot out the speed-bumps.
140.Life is like a box of chocolates;it ends sooner for fat people.
Fat ginger jokes:
141.You're so fat you tried to eat Eniemen at the Grammies.
142.You don't sweat much for a fat chick.
143.If You weigh 200 pounds on the Earth it is only 76 pounds on the Mars,and it means You are not fat but you are just on the wrong planet.
144.Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
145.Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
146."I see your grades are struggling..." said my mum.
So I said,"Like that button holding your trousers together..."
147.Fat people suffer from their feet... their feet won't stay out of the chip shop.
148.Your so fat you were rolling down a hill and you never stopped.
149.Your so butters that clover the butter company used you in their adverts.
150.You're a lot like train tracks,you've gotten laid across the county.
In conclusion,our journey through the realm of fat jokes has been a joyous exploration of laughter without malice.Humor transcends boundaries,and these jokes,crafted with warmth,aimed to evoke smiles,not stereotypes.As we wrap up this lighthearted adventure,let the echoes of laughter linger,a reminder that shared amusement unites us.May these fat jokes stand testament to the power of good-natured humor,proving that a hearty laugh can be a universal language,promoting positivity and connection.
By:JokeFiesta Team.
0 Comments